Two Simple Ways To Improve Communication With Our Children

Let’s face it: communication with the children of this generation isn’t always easy. However, over the years, we’ve found two simple ways to open the lines of communication with our children, especially during the school year.

Many children seem to have a better relationship with their friends and technology than they do with their parents. But in our home, that changed!

Years ago, we decided that our family would be our priority after God and our marriage. If we wanted a better relationship with our children, regardless of their age, we were going to have to find new ways to open the lines of communication.

We have to admit, this wasn’t easy at first. At the time, our daughter was 6 and our son was 12, so you know how that goes!

Our daughter, bless her heart, is feisty and free-spirited. Our son, at the age of 12, was attached to his video games, and conversations with us were taking up his precious “game time.”

Two Ways To Open Lines Of Communication

As a result, we had to get creative. With the Holy Spirit’s help, we came up with two simple ideas that began to open the door to better conversations. And we’re grateful that we still do them to this day!

Snack and Talk Time

Snack and Talk Time is similar to something you may have heard us talk about called “Couch Time.” Couch Time is when we gather around the couch to talk about what’s happening in each other’s lives, share prayer requests, and simply connect as a family.

However, Snack and Talk Time is specifically for when our kids came home from school.

We would take a few moments to prepare a snack. This could be a baked good, something as simple as a cold drink during the warmer months, or a cup of hot chocolate during the winter.

Either way, the kids enjoyed a snack, and talked about how their school day went!

We didn’t put a time limit on our Snack and Talk Time because we let the kids talk as long as they need to about their day. This gave us a glimpse into their world and what they were experiencing.

Intentionally taking time to talk with our children showed them that we care. Most importantly, it kept the lines of communication open.

It’s often during these conversations that we could get to the root of troubled relationships, conflicts with teachers, friendship issues, or simply celebrate their achievements.

Sometimes, the conversation were serious. Other times, it was silly.

But either way, we’ve created a safe space for communication.

Highs And Lows At Dinner

Another way we open the lines of communication is during family dinner.

We go around the table and share our highs and lows of the day.

When our kids were college students, we found ourselves running in different directions. However, we made it a family tradition that one day a week would be set aside for what we call Family Dinner.

No matter their schedules, everyone knew that on THIS DAY, everyone must be home for dinner.

And on those nights, we went around the table so we can share the highs and lows of our day.

The beautiful thing about this setting is that it allowed us to have more meaningful conversations because we are all together.

We’re not rushed to go anywhere or do anything because we’ve prioritized this time as a family.

As a family, we made a commitment ahead of time that this time would be protected. We also made it a safe place where we could be there for each other—to share our hearts, fears, prayer requests, and praise reports.

We laugh. We cry. And most importantly, we grow closer together because communication is the doorway to deeper intimacy.

The Communication Impact

What’s been beautiful to watch is how these simple practices have continued to impact our family as our children have grown.

As parents, we believe it is vital to instill the importance of open communication with our children while they’re in our homes. We want them to learn how to communicate on a deeper level rather than settling for surface-level conversations.

Then we want them to carry these communication skills into their future marriages, families, friendships, and relationships.

And it’s been beautiful to witness.

Now that our children have become young adults, graduated from college, and are living their best lives, they’ll send a family text asking:

“When is family dinner this week?”

We’ve had to learn to be flexible with the day of the week now that they have different work schedules. But the important thing is that they still want to make time for family.

That means so much to us.

We’re seeing the fruit of years of intentionally making communication and family connection a priority.

What The Bible Says 

We are reminded in Deuteronomy 11:18-21 (NLT): “So commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these words of mine. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 19 Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 20 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, 21 so that as long as the sky remains above the earth, you and your children may flourish in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors.”

We love that this passage reminds us that teaching our children isn’t just about sitting them down for a formal lesson.

We’re called to talk with them.

At home. On the road. When we wake up. When we go to bed.

In other words, communication is meant to be part of everyday family life.

And sometimes, that communication may happen over a snack at the kitchen table or while sharing the highs and lows of the day around the dinner table.

In The End

With all that is happening in our world today, open communication with our children is more important than ever.

If we don’t show our children that we care about their world, they may hesitate to share what’s happening in their lives with us. They may look somewhere else for someone who will listen.

That’s why we believe we have to be intentional about creating opportunities for communication.

It doesn’t have to be complicated.

Sometimes, it’s as simple as a snack and a conversation.

Or sitting around the dinner table and asking, “What was the high point and low point of your day?”

The goal isn’t to force our children to talk.

The goal is to create an environment where they want to talk.

Because when we make communication a priority, we’re not just learning about their day; we’re building relationships that can last a lifetime.

Do you have a unique way of opening the lines of communication with your children? Share it with us in the comments below!