I can’t wait until I get married, Lord, please send me someone.
If that’s been your prayer, then we have a question for you. Have you been preparing yourself as much as you have been waiting?
Sure you may have prayed about needing a companion, wanting to engage in some “martial benefits.” But if we are being honest, sometimes our need for companionship, blinds our need for preparation.
This isn’t just for women this goes for men as well. That’s why we are writing to you together, to help shed some light on preparation for both future husbands and wives.
Your Relationship With God
Your relationship with God must come first right now. When you do this, God will have His respective place in your heart before you get married. Getting in the habit of making God your first priority will set a healthy expectation for your future spouse that they are a priority after God.
“You shall have no other gods before Me.” ~ Exodus 20:3 (NKJV)
Many people think our book Embracing God’s Priorities is just for married couples. That is so far from the truth, singles need it all the more. As they will be in a better position when they get married because they would have had an opportunity to live a lifestyle within the priorities of God.
Men, you can’t love your wife the way Christ loves the church without learning how Christ loved the church first. So your relationship with God, through prayer and spending time in His Word, must be something you practice now!
On the other hand, ladies, as much we think finding our husbands will complete us. That’s a fairy tale. God completes us spirit, soul, and body. Unless we cling on to Him, we will constantly be disappointed in our future spouse because we will be expecting him to give us what only God can.
Financial problems is one of the main reason some marriages end in divorce. You won’t have a financial anointing once you get married. This is something you have to practice right now.
Whether or not you will be the one responsible for paying the bills in the marriage, does not release you of the burden of being financially responsible. This responsibility falls on both of you. You must learn delayed gratification, how to balance a checkbook, how to control your spending and how to live within a family budget right now. This is what the Bible calls being a good steward.
Taking care of paying the bills may not be your forte but being financial responsible is a characteristic of a child of God.
Take a moment and think about your own spending habits; do you live within a budget, or do you save? By taking personal inventory of your financial habits now and improving them before you get married, will make a HUGE difference.
“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.’ ~ Luke 16:10 (NLT)
Taking Care of Yourself
Having the mindset, it doesn’t matter what I look like because I’m not with anyone is not an excuse to look sloppy. Get that thought out of your mind right now. You need to look good for yourself.
Remember you’re preparing for a mate. You need to put yourself in a position to be found. Hello, somebody!
We even teach this principle to our daughter. Yes, she is a child, and she lives at home, and is not thinking about getting married at this moment. However, we teach her to take pride in taking care of herself and looking presentable. However, this doesn’t necessary mean all done up.
Let’s take something as simple as pajamas. We don’t just let her go to bed any kind of way. She wears matching pajamas with no holes. Why? Because if she is in the habit of doing this now, she will do this when she is married. Instead of going to bed unapproachable, as we often hear in marriage counseling.
This goes the same for men. We teach our son to shower before going to bed, brushing his teeth. Also presenting himself approachable. When he gets married if he is used to going to bed without showering, or brushing his teeth does he really think his wife wants to get close? Let us help you out…NO!
Taking care of yourselves has to be something you do while you’re single, so that when you do get married, its a practice, you’re used to doing.
Taking Care of The House / Cooking
This is a tough one, there are a lot of men who get married and don’t lift a finger to help around the house. And there are some women who have taken on the attitude I don’t cook, or clean and my husband is just going to have to do it.
Well both perspectives are wrong and is something that can be improved on now. Yes, right now. You will not have a cleaning house anointing once you say I do. You have got to practice good housekeeping now.
There is nothing more attractive than a man who can help in the kitchen, help with cleaning around the house and help with laundry.
Likewise, ladies there is nothing more unattractive than a woman who can’t cook or keep a house clean. This does not mean the responsibilities rely solely on you. Marriage is a partnership, and both parties should know how to help in any of the areas for the survival and balance within the family.
Pray For Your Future Spouse
Prayer for your future spouse is essential. However, we want to encourage not to just pray for a spouse. Be specific in your prayer. Pray for the godly qualities you are desiring, and the bodily characteristics that are attractive to you.
We serve a God of details. So, don’t be afraid that the list is too long or short. God gives us exceedingly above anything we can ask or think.
You don’t just want any mate do you? No, you want the mate you have been preparing for, and praying for.
“Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]” ~ Ephesians 3:20 (AMPC)
If you’re single, instead of focusing on the fact that you may be alone in this season. Purpose to embrace this time as preparation time, so that you can get off to a good start in the marriage relationship.
When we rush into something that we are not prepared for it, can lead to a lot of unnecessary heartache. Don’t get us wrong, marriage takes work, a lot of it at that, but it can be so much easier when both parties enter the marriage prepared with their priorities in order.
So we ask you again, have you been preparing as much as you have been waiting?
PS…Here are a few books we’ve read that can help you prepare.
This post has been shared on Grace and Truth a weekly Christian link up.
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~ André and Timberley Gray