What kind of husband will your son grow up to be? More importantly, will your son be prepared for the other woman?
We are living in a time where divorce rates are higher than ever before, even within the church.
While a father’s role in the family structure plays a huge part, there’s a great opportunity for a mother’s influence for such a time as this. And I didn’t realize this until…
Preparing Him For The Other Woman
One day, I was walking through the Family Christian Book Store and passed a book that was being featured called; “Preparing Him For The Other Woman.”
The title alone peaked my interest.
I read the fine print on the cover; a mother’s guide to raising her son to love a wife and lead a family. Now, that really got my attention!
I purchased the book and couldn’t wait to read it. To be honest, the book had me with this simple truth.
While the father’s role is crucial in our son’s life, who better to influence our young sons to fight for family, and to be a faithful and loving husband, than their God-fearing mother?
Revelation of My Son’s Preparation
As I continued to read throughout the book; I appreciated how the author gave suggestions to apply the principles of preparation, during the different adolescent years of our son’s life.
However, the big aha moment I took away was; NOW is the time to prepare our boys with the available time God has given us.
I don’t know about you, but that literally brought me to my knees with tears. I asked God to forgive me if I had not used my available time properly with my son.
While weeping on the floor, my heart was truly convicted that God gave me my son, Brandon, for a certain amount of AVAILBALE time. In which my available time was going to be the time he lives with me and the time I am here on this earth.
“Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what may happen tomorrow. What is the nature of your life? You are [really] but a wisp of vapor (a puff of smoke, a mist) that is visible for a little while and then disappears [into thin air].” ~ James 4:14 (AMPC)
Knowing that our time on earth is a vapor, I needed to do my best to not only pray for him but I need to take my place as a positive influence in his life.
Identifying My Available Time
When I had this revelation, I asked God to show me how I can make better use of my available time.
God began to show me how to clear my schedule around the time my son came home from school, so we could have snack and talk time. This is something we do until this day even with him being in college.
God showed me how to talk to him on his level and leverage his relationship with his sister as an opportunity to practice how he would treat his future wife and daughter.
It didn’t take long for me to realize it wasn’t about me needing more time.
I needed to make better use of my AVAILABLE time with him.
The Effect on My Son
One day, I asked Brandon (around 10 years old at the time) to get something for me off of my nightstand. He was taking a long time to get it, considering what I needed was in plain sight.
When he came back, he handed me what I asked for; then he just looked at me.
I asked him what was that look for? He said, he noticed there was a book on my nightstand that was a guide to raising a son.
So out of curiosity he picked it up and read some of the pages I highlighted.
Now you’re probably thinking what I was thinking; “oh no, what did he read?”
Brandon went on to say: “Mom, you know the part about the video games is true, and I think it’s cool that you would read a book like this just for me.”
You see, the part he read about the video games was this…
“We are raising a generation of boys who have a better relationship with their video games, iPods, televisions, and computers than they have with their families.”
~ Sheri Rose Shepherd
That section was underlined and highlighted because I realized this was happening in my home and that needed to change!
Although my son is 22 now, to this day, I still keep this book on hand. No matter how old he gets, I will continue to pray over him and strive to be a positive influence in his life.
In The End
One day our sons and daughters will be wives, husbands, mothers and fathers. And the success of their family starts with our prayers and influence as their mother.
Ladies, our children are with us for just a moment. so let’s seize the opportunity to invest our available time. Teaching our sons to be tender warriors to love their wives and to lead a families.
As mothers, we’d like to think we will always be the woman of our son’s heart, but the truth is one day a young lady will win his heart. And the real question becomes: will he be ready? Better yet, will you?
PIN FOR LATER
~ Timberley Gray
Such wise, wise words, my friend. I also have a son in his twenties that is married to THE one God designed for him. A precious friend of mine shared similar things when my son was about 7 years old. From that moment on, I began to pray for his future wife and really ‘think’ about what he should learn about his relationship with God and life – for his future of being a Godly leader. Well done!
Thank you for stopping bu Shan and your kind words. ~ Blessings
Tears, tears, and more tears sweet friend. This got me, “Brandon went on to say: “Mom, you know the part about the video games is true, and I think it’s cool that you would read a book like this just for me.” I want this for my son too. Although my son is young, like you said, as his mom I need to make the most of my AVAILABLE time with him. Thank you for continuing to strengthen me as a mom—pointing me to the future and persevering!
Oh bless you Sonya! Your son is very blessed to have a mom like you who is constantly seeking God for His guidance to raise His children. When we seek God with our whole heart He is faithful to give us what we need. And now that you are aware of your available time, God is going to show you how to use it. Thank you for stopping by. ~ Blessings
I love that your son shared what he noticed highlighted. Precious. Our children see what we do and what captures our priority. How sweet that he knows he is your priority.
Thank you Susan! A little nervous when he read the areas I highlighted but I would have done the same…LOL thank you for reading. ~ Blessings
As wonderful as the information in this post is, I know that I have not prepared my 19 year old son for the “other woman.” That thought actually breaks my heart. My children have grown up in a home with a God-fearing mother who regularly made mistakes and prayed (privately) for her husband’s salvation. They have witnessed a father, not saved, lead his family based on that lack of belief. It is sad to think that my son only knows the selfish ways of an absent , unbelieving father, and a mother with more faults than she’d care to admit. His example of a wife is a woman who gives and gives and gives to her husband, without anything in return (not that she had those expectations). He has never seen an example of a husband loving a wife like Christ loved the church. He has never witnessed a father put God first and make his family a priority. I fear that he’ll never be truly prepared to love a wife and lead a family.
Oh Kimberly, thank you for pouring your heart and being so transparent. However, I think you may not be giving yourself the credit you deserve. A wife and mother who is committed to her husband no matter what, is the best example you can set for that situation. You are showing your son what it means to love unconditionally. And the effort you make in your relationship with him allows you the opportunity to pour into him, showing him how to be sensitive to a young lady, tend to her needs and listen to her feelings. I will be lifting you up in prayer for God to show you how to use your available time to sow into your son in preparation for his future. God will make sure there is nothing lacking or missing. God bless you sweet sister.