Today we welcome; Kip and Tania Beasley to the Living Our Priorities community as a guest writer! Kip and Tania are a powerful husband and wife team, who coach couples to reach lifetime partnerships! We asked them to encourage our readers who may be struggling in their relationships. If you have an unsaved or lukewarm spouse, then be encouraged, this post is for you!
Throughout our years of working with couples in ministry, a concern that is brought up frequently is the spiritual well being of a husband or wife. We have found that usually there is a stronger spouse in the faith who becomes frustrated due to their partner’s lack of spiritual fervor. This results in one of the partners carrying the spiritual weight of the relationship while the other piggy backs on their spouse’s faith.
This is also true for marriages where either the husband or the wife are unsaved or have not made a decision for Christ. There is no greater desire for a man or a woman of God to see their spouse come to the feet of Jesus.
Find comfort in knowing that this is not a one sided article. My husband, Kip, and I have narrowed it down to a few nuggets of wisdom that will help you win your soul-mate for Christ; or give you insight on how to encourage your partner to develop a deeper relationship with the Lord.
Benefits In A Marriage
First of all, let’s identify the benefits in a marriage when both parties serve Christ wholeheartedly:
1. There is unity in the home in that both the husband and wife not only operate as one flesh, but as two kindred spirits joined in covenant relationship to honor the Father with their lifestyle and household decisions. It also establishes strong parental principles as you raise children in the fear of the Lord.
2.The strong vessel will bridge the gap for the weak one. Life is not always hunky-dory. There will be times when either the husband or wife will go through their “spiritual lows”. These can be seasons of; loneliness, hurt, illness, doubt, etc. During these moments, intercessory prayer (praying on your spouse’s behalf) will strengthen your partner as God completes a good work in him/ her.
3.It encourages one another to grow in their Christian faith. Some of the best times in our marriage have been our “God” moments”. When we find ourselves feeling pressed by life, we reminisce about the goodness of the Lord and how He has always seen us through.
I recall being in the car on a Sunday morning and listening to a sermon on the radio on our way to church. All of a sudden I felt a warm blanket of God’s presence cover me from head to toe. I immediately discerned that I had encountered a visitation from God. I looked towards my husband as he was driving, he took a quick glance at me, and we both said “Did you feel that?”. Since then, our lives have been eternally marked.
What can you do when your spouse is not serving the Lord, or is living a lukewarm life?
Here are five tips that will draw your husband or wife to the Lord… and PLEASE highlight the ones that will keep your spouse from ever stepping a foot into church.
1. Your life should reflect the fruits of the Spirit.
Anything contrary to this is unlike the character of Christ. Why would your spouse, want to follow a fluff gospel made up of Christians that resemble the world system we live in?
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)
2. Pray for them daily.
Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you the hindrances that are keeping your husband or wife from serving Jesus. That way, you’ll know how to intercede on their behalf.
3.Don’t push Jesus down their throat.
Be expectant of what God will accomplish in your spouse’s life, but don’t be pushy- it will only drive them further away. As you pray, the Holy Spirit will become their gentle reminder and bring life-changing conviction.
4. Don’t idolize your spiritual leaders.
Let’s be realistic. The enemy is always at work and wants to create a wedge in your marriage; he comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). If you are a wife with an unsaved husband (or vice versa), PLEASE, be wise about constantly exalting your spiritual leaders. As this may open a door for the enemy to create jealousy in your spouse’s heart. Respect the mantle of authority upon your leaders, but always highlight the God within them. Also, don’t get so caught-up in serving the ministry, that you neglect your spousal duties.
5. Find a church that you both love.
Have you ever wondered if the reason why your spouse rarely goes to church is because he or she doesn’t “fit in”? It’s important that you are both comfortable in your place of worship. Studies have proven, that one of the key reasons a person joins a church is because they feel a sense of belonging. Find a well doctrinated, bible believing church, that welcomes your family, and provides practical biblical teachings.
And by the way…. stop bad mouthing your church to your husband or wife if you ever have hopes of them stepping into the house of God. No bueno!
Stop bad mouthing your church to your spouse if you want them to step into the house of God. Click To Tweet
To conclude, hold on tight to the promise of God and don’t let it go. James 5:16 tells us that; “The prayer of a righteous person is POWERFUL and EFFECTIVE”. God is not a man that He should lie and will remain true to His word. Don’t give up on your spouse. Instead, start thanking God TODAY for his/her salvation.
P.S. This is a prayer for your partner’s salvation and spiritual well-being based on 1st Timothy chapters one and two (fill in the blanks with your spouse’s name).
Lord, I thank you for ______. Today I pray that you will teach _______ how to live a peaceful quiet life in all godliness and holiness.
It is your will that ______ be saved and come to the true knowledge of truth through Christ Jesus who is the mediator between mankind and God. Father, You paid the price for ______ and gave yourself as ransom for him/her on the cross of Calvary.
Lord, I ask that _______ be not deceived by the teachings of this new age, but that you draw him/her near to You through faith in love. Give him/her a pure heart that turns away from sin and the ability to know right from wrong.
Father, you have entrusted me with _____. I thank you for the strength you give me to continue being a good example of your love to him/her. Give me the courage to hold on to my faith and to believe that my prayers are at work even though things may seem contrary to what my natural eyes see.
I ask these things in the name of our Lord, Savior Jesus Christ, Amen.
Guest Post Written By, Kip and Tania Beasley
Kip and Tania Beasley have served in various capacities of ministry for the past twenty years. Together, they coach marriages to reach their fullest potential by encouraging lifetime partnerships. Tania is the founder of TheodoraLove which means a love gift from God. It is a blog that focuses on women’s issues including marriage, parenting, relationships and Godliness. She is the author of Marriage: Marriage: A Guide to Staying Married by Applying the Principles of Commitment, Communication, and Respect to Your Christian Marriage (Marriage Counseling, … Communication in Marriage, Marriage Books)
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica,Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
~ André and Timberley Gray
April Boyer says
Thank you Tania Beasley. This was an insightful and simple guideline!
We couldn’t agree with you more April, the insight and simplicity of this post we trust will bless many. Thank you for reading. ~ Blessings
Thank you for sharing this! So much of this was relevant to me and where I am at! I truly believe God hears our prayers, and He who began a good work will be faithful to complete it! Great wisdom!
Amen! He is so faithful. Thank you for reading. ~ Blessings
Amen! Such a needed post. I run into so many wives in this situation and rarely do I see such straightforward advice.
Hannah, we’re so glad this post resonated with your spirit. We love the spirit of boldness both Kip and Tania have in helping couples to be successful in their marriage. Sometimes that means setting the example instead of waiting for an example. Thank you for stopping by to read this post.
I was a little nervous when I read the title! I have seen countless women drive their husbands away from Christ by trying to get them “Saved” but you speak truth! Love how well you wrote this! Will be sharing it all over!
Tiffany thank you for reading and sharing this post. It is unfortunate to see women try to save their husbands, but we trust this post will resonate those who are ready for true change. ~ Blessings
Tyler Hawkyard says
Such a good word… Marriage is so much harder than I ever imagined. I never thought we would be dealing with the issues we are currently facing. Getting plugged into a church was so easy in high school but finding one to belong in as a young adult couple is its own spiritual battle. I would literally be down to join any Bible church my wife would want to go.
Anyway, thank you for the post. I guess I need to stop talking and start playing.
Tyler, Thanks for stopping by to read our blog. You are right marriage is hard but it’s even harder if you are not on one accord with your spouse. I commend you for being open to joining a Church where you both can attend, serve and grow together. Keep me posted! By the way, watch what God does to your marriage when you both are serving Him together. ~ Blessings my brother
Thank you so much. I am a wife that God has Spiritually awakened, I’m still praying for my husband. He knows Christ, but it’s hard to get him to spiritually disconnect from the world. At times he gets spiritually attacked, and I have to cast, and pray them away from him. I am going to use this guideline. He accepted to meditate with me for 30 minutes allowing the presence of God to minister to us. So that’s a step. ❤️
Praise God for his willingness to meditate with you. And you are correct that is a step – an important step at that. Continue to intercede on his behalf and do your part to be an example. God will honor you for that sweet sister. ~ Blessings
Thank you for this post. My husband says that he doesn’t have an issue with God, but he has an issue with the system of religion and going to church is a part of that system. I’m still not sure what to do with that.
I grew up Christian and fell away for a bit and have come back to the faith. My partner grew up in the Episcopal church and was turned off at a young age and says he is spiritual and finds meaning in naturalism. He doesn’t mind that I’m a Christian because I don’t force it on him but he doesn’t like religion. My heart yearns for him to come to Christ. Thank you for encouraging to keep the faith. If I could ask for prayer, I’d love that, as I feel the more prayers, the better.
Bless your heart Victoria I can hear your heart through your words. I am stopping to pray for your marriage right now and for your husband to come to know Christ. Meditate on 1 Peter 3 my sister and practice it as much as you can. ~ Blessings
I was challenged and encouraged by this excellent article..Thank You!
Thank you Rachel for stopping by to read. And praise God it encouraged your heart.