Who said Christians are boring? That’s so far from the truth of who we are or how God created us to be!
We might be a Christian, and a very proud one at that. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t have fun, can’t watch movies, or can’t have the best sex! In fact, Christian marriages should have the best sex, because God created us to enjoy each other.
But this blog is about keeping the marriage fresh with dates and date clothes! Yes, date clothes. That was new to me when we started having consistent dates.
Like many couples, we got caught up in the daily routines of life. We were too worn out to consider dating each other again. Going to work, picking up the kids, grocery shopping, helping with homework, cleaning, and church activities, wore us down.
I don’t just mean any kind of date. I mean, the kind you think about. The kind you get dressed for, what you use to do before you were married. When we started dating each other again, our spiritual parents invited us on one of their dates.
We met at their house, then we were off to a nice restaurant. While we were waiting, Lorri came downstairs in some fish-net stockings. Now mind you, she was our mentor, our spiritual mother and that was not the look we were expecting.
My mouth dropped, and I said: “what do you have on?” She answered: “darling we’ll talk about it later.” If you knew Lorri, she was always looking for teachable moments. Moments to explain and walk me through why I should do something. She explained; planning a date with our spouse, requires us to put in the same effort as we do everything else. But even the more because our marriage is our priority right after God.
She went on to say, it wouldn’t be fair to our husbands if we are completely worn out and left the house with them in just anything. That would send a message of, I gave my best to others today, and you’re lucky we’re going.
Although, sometimes that was the case, or how I felt, I realized with a little effort, not only was it fun, my husband actually appreciated it. Not to mention he liked it!
One of the things Lorri taught me was to have “date clothes.” These were clothes that I would only wear around my husband. That meant what I wore to church, around the house or out with my girlfriends, was not the same thing I would wear when my husband and I are spending quality time with each other. Since that talk, I have tried to be very mindful of wearing the things I know my husband likes to see me in. This goes the same for when we’re at home. When my husband is home for the day, I do my best to make sure I wear what I know he likes.
One side note, from a young age I have taught our daughter to wear matching pajamas; looking her best even when going to bed. Some may ask what for?
Well, if she gets into the habit of going to bed sloppy now, she will go to bed sloppy when she marrys.
Anyways, when Andre and I plan a date that is in the evening, and I feel a little drained from the day, I do a few things to prepare myself so that I will have enough energy to be totally in tune with him. I try to take a nap, play jazz or romantic music to get me mentally ready so that we won’t talk: kids, church or business. I have also sent a text message about our time later to help build the anticipation of a great date. And as a bonus, he is at work thinking about me!
Don’t let this overwhelmed you by thinking you need to plan something extravagant. Recently, we went out for a massage and then to lunch. Well, if you had a massage before you know there is no need for; makeup, you throw your hair up in a bun, and wear comfy clothes. However, I knew we were going out for lunch right after the massage. As a result, I packed a small bag with my toiletries to freshen up, makeup and a comb, so I could let my hair down.
When I walked out from the massage, I was a different person. A relaxed wife, looking attractive for my husband. And during lunch he would enjoy looking at me.
If you desire to bring a little spice back in your marriage, start with making alone time for you and your spouse a priority. Purpose to put some thought into the atmosphere, your attire and your activities. Then watch how God blesses your efforts for sowing seeds into your marriage.
When we started to prioritize our time together with what we had, we saw God provide. All of a sudden, we had babysitters available that didn’t want to charge us. Not too mention, every time someone wanted to be a blessing to us, we were given restaurant gift cards or gift cards to go shopping. Which made buying date clothes possible! So don’t think you have to go out and do the most, just start with what you have, right where you are.
So ladies, now that I have you thinking, fish-net stockings anyone?