Why do I always have to be the one to always apologize and be the bigger person?
I think I said that way too many times, until my mentor corrected me and said it’s not about being the bigger person; it’s about choosing to walk in love because love never fails!
When I began to see it that way, choosing to walk in love didn’t seem to be so bad. There were times early in our marriage where it seemed like all we did was fight, fight and fight. We would fight for days, playing the silent treatment and having restless nights on the couch. Can any of you relate?
One day during my Bible study time, I was reading 1 Peter 3, and I asked myself why does God instruct the women to submit? That just seemed so unfair when men are usually the ones causing the problems! But, to my own conclusion, it seemed as if God knew that the women would be the ones who are more likely to say I’m sorry first, for the sake of peace.
WOW! I’m sure the men don’t agree, or I may have started a war, but if we look at scripture, the women have been given so many instructions; we would be foolish to ignore what is simply laid out for us.
1 Peter 3:1-2 (NLT) “In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.”
Proverbs 31:26 (NLT) “When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.”
Proverbs 21:9 (NKJV) “Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”
Proverbs 25:24 (NLT) “It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.”
While 1 Corinthians 13 was written to all of us, 1 Corinthians 13:5 in the amplified version really spoke to me as a woman. It says love does not act “unbecomingly.” As a woman, we don’t want to be seen as an unbecoming. We want to be seen as a beautiful woman with a meek and quiet spirit.
Ladies walking in love, saying I’m sorry for the sake of peace, and being submissive to a man, who is submissive to God might I add, is what God expects us to do! Yes, we may have merit in our arguments but this is where we can use our fighting fair ground rules. However, for the most part, it’s not about us being the bigger person. It’s about us choosing to love.
If we meditate on the problems in our relationships, we will only see our relationship as a problem. If we meditate on our love walk, we will see our relationships as a beautiful reflection of 1 Corinthians 13.
It’s been said that what you meditate on, will manifest; so choose to meditate on love, and you will see love manifest in all your relationships.
~ Timberley Gray