3 Reasons To Never Go To Bed Angry

Going to bed angry can have a negative effect on our sleep both in the natural and spiritual. Read more to find out what God says about going to bed angry.

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Going to bed angry can have a negative effect on our sleep both in the natural and spiritual. Read more to find out what God says about going to bed angry.


Are you guilty of going to bed angry? In fact, who went to bed angry last night?

Let’s keep this 100%! Many couples go to bed angry, leave the house angry, or even go days without speaking. It sounds strange. However, it’s more common than you think.

Our Angry Story

We never went to bed angry or left the house without kissing each other good-bye, until we got so stressed from our circumstances, that we began to take it out on each other.

In those moments, when life seemed to have gotten the best of us, it became more common for us to leave angry, go to bed angry, wake up without speaking and could go days without speaking to one another.

Not to mention, we were seeking God desperately for change in; our life, our marriage, our business and even healing. Then we realized, how can we expect our prayers to be heard or answered when we were divided in our hearts, our spirits and in our own home with one another? More importantly, we were doing exactly what 1 Peter 3 says not to do.

“In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation],honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]  ~ 1 Peter 3:7 (AMPC)

What Does God Say?

Too many people want to say that’s for the men, but let’s take a closer look at it. It says, in the same way you married men, meaning in the same way as the women, men you also have a responsibility. The responsibility is to be unified so that your prayers do not go hindered. And if we actually walk out Ephesians 4:26-27, we would naturally do 1 Peter 3:7.

“And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” ~ Ephesians 4:26-27(NLT)

Don’t get us wrong, this is easier said than done, but the more you practice it, the easier it will become. With that said, we want to encourage you to meditate on three reasons why you should always kiss your spouse before going to bed or leaving their presence:

1. Because the Bible says so. (Ephesians 4:26-27)
2. It keeps the enemy from coming between you. (1 Peter 3:8)
3. It will help you have peaceful sleep. (Matthew 11:28)

Pretty simple, and if you can make this a habit, it will allow your prayers to be more effective. You will keep the enemy from getting in and as a bonus, you will have good night sleep!

The Angry Affect On Our Sleep

If you don’t think your sleep is affected, think again. Matthew 11:28 says those who come to Christ and lay down their burdens, He will give them rest. Well when you go to bed angry, what burdens have you given Him?

Nothing, expect an attitude of why you think you’re right.

When a couple goes to bed angry, usually one person goes to sleep, thinking they’re right. And the other person who can’t sleep, is upset and gets worked up all through the night about why they’re right.

In the end, it steals your peace, your sleep, and now the enemy has plenty of time to plant ideas in your mind and come in between you. Then you wonder, why you’re not effective or productive at work because you left your home with strife.

We learned this lesson when we had too much at stake. We were petitioning God for breakthrough in many areas. As a result, we had to learn to deal with our differences in peace; purposing not to go to bed angry. We had to figure out, if the problem doesn’t get resolved, how do we still honor God’s Word and keep our unity?

The Solution

This dilemma led us to the following: I understand where you’re coming from, however, we are not going to be able to resolve this tonight. Why don’t we take some time in the morning before work, or meet for lunch to work through this? In the meantime, I love you and kiss each other good night.

Sometimes that worked and other times that answer was just not good enough. Someone wasn’t going to bed until it was resolved. (That would be me Timberley).Unfortunately, I quickly learned that nagging at 2am doesn’t work. We recognized that it may not all get resolved tonight, but one thing is for sure, we are NOT going to bed angry, as we have too much on the line.

By taking that approach, we experienced breakthrough. Our challenges didn’t go away, but it made dealing with them easier, because we were on the same page.

We contended for unity in our marriage. And it was during times of challenges where we learned that our unity was the most important thing next to God in our relationship.

It has become so embedded in us, that we have placed a gentle reminder above our bed through wisedecor.com.


Going to bed angry can have a negative effect on our sleep both in the natural and spiritual. Read more to find out what God says about going to bed angry.


When you walk out the Word of God in every area of your life, every area of your life will be effected by it. So if you went to bed angry last night, that’s ok. We serve a God of many chances. You can start over by telling your spouse: honey, let’s be sure that we always kiss each other good night.

~ André and Timberley Gray


  1. Diana says:

    It is so important that our last words to our spouse before we go to bed should be words seasoned with grace and love. For we do not know if we will see the next day. This makes me always be in the right with my husband and God

    Blessed by your post


    • Timberley Timberley says:

      Thank you for those kind words Diana! Words spoken with grace and love is always the better choice, especially in this day in age we never know what tomorrow will bring. ~ Blessings

  2. Hilary Scott says:

    Thank you for this reminder! Definitely something I need to work on.

  3. Tiffany Montgomery says:

    oh my goodness… love the reminder on the wall! This is beautifully said!

  4. Shaw says:

    I am recently married and my husband and I promised each other that we will never go to bed angry. It requires us to be slow to anger and quick to forgive. It also requires us to remember that we made this promise. This post was a great reminder!

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